Cute, aren't they?
This photograph is a relic, a fossil from the Before Time, when humanity could laugh at the things that scare us, when we could twist those things into cartoons, rob them of their power, to make us feel more powerful, and thus less afraid. Caricatures like these are a symptom of what made us weak, made us soft. We were removed from threats, too far removed, and thus better targets when the zombies actually arrived.
When the men, women, and children (our loved ones, or neighbors, even strangers), Turn, it isn't cute. It is a fate worse than death, and it could happen to you. Chances are, it will happen to you. Unless you do exactly as I say.
1) Find something worth fighting for.
I know what you're thinking: Don't you mean find something worth fighting WITH? Like a weapon? the answer to that question is no. You can't just live for yourself, it's not enough. Life is hollow without purpose, and without purpose, you might as well throw yourself into the nearest horde. One less mouth for the living to feed.
2) Know your zombie.
Learn how they move, what sounds they respond to, where they like to search for food, if they can climb. Learn your enemy's limitations, and make them your strengths.
3) Obtain weapons.
A handgun should be, well, handy, but also last in line. Have one, but use your physical build to determine your weapon of choice. That means if you're a tiny girl, a mace will not be a good choice. Try a golf club, as this will mean maximum power and reach according to your size. If you can get your hands on a crossbow, great, except you need to be very strong to wield one, so be aware. Also unfortunate if you run out of arrows. Swords are as good as those who wield them, and also hard to find around these parts (being American parts), but machetes and hunting knives are not too difficult to get your hands on. Can't find those things? A thick enough tree branch, if broken off in the right place, can become a jagged, if rustic, weapon. Just aim for the eyeballs.
4) Exercise.
This applies both to the physical body, and your mental state. Practice, practice, practice. This means if you see lone zombies, kill them, don't avoid them. With each notch on your belt (I should have put that as number one, you need a Zombie Belt to make notches on so other survivors can see the number of kills you have. This makes you look cool and also useful, and more likely for them to keep you.) Keep your body busy, and your brain will follow suit.
5) Find or build a group.
But keep it small. A massive group means less elements that can be controlled, and panic is more difficult to squash with a mob. Ten is a good maximum, with 5-6 being ideal. Ditch liabilities, or make them carry the stuff. Build a hierarchy. People need structure and stability, and this will make everyone feel safer. Make friends, if you can, but know they may die at any time. With groups comes higher chance of finding food, although it has an inverse relationship with the amount of food you will get for yourself. Remember sharing is caring.
6) Find places to hole up.
Depending on the size and competency of your group, a private residence is acceptable, so long as you are able to make runs for supplies. You want few entrances/exits, small high windows, a tricky terrain to navigate, which can easily be arranged with some shovels and household furniture. See #2 for questions regarding what fortifications should be made. Take shifts patrolling, make sure everyone patrolling knows how to use the weapon they have, don't put people on rotation who don't know what they're doing, because they will get you killed.
7) Find ways to pass the time.
This could include cooking, cleaning, training, playing cards, whatever suits your group. But keep a rotation schedule, everyone does everything, to the extent of their abilities. Keeping people busy means making them feel like there is a purpose, which makes them willing to keep fighting for survival. Higher morale = better survival rate, especially for you.
8) Keep a record.
We may not survive, but we owe it to the generations ahead of us to try, or we bring about our own extinction. For those who live, and breed, and pass on our histories, we have to make sure our stories are told. Our children and their children will need to know how to make it in this world, what we went through, so they don't become soft and weak like we were when it happened. Maybe if we had something like that, this wouldn't have happened, it would have been another virus that killed a bunch of people but humanity marched on, triumphantly, into the sunset. Now we are the hunted, times are prehistoric, and so we have to write our histories, for them. I guess you've figured out what I'm fighting for.
This is a great post. I think this blends really well with what was said in class, #1 especially. If there is no hope, no future, the will to survive certainly fades. It can easily be seen in This Is Not a Test, when in the second part of the book, the characters actually have some form of goal. No spoilers, dont worry. #2-6 Seems reasonable enough, basic Zombie survival tropes that we have encountered many times before.
ReplyDelete#7 & 8- are certainly the most interesting. Activity and a sense of History- these provide the foundation for the growth and stability of any community, zombie survival or otherwise. Keeping a record gives certainly would add a sense of accomplishment, even to basic survival.
The peanut on the right reminds me of Bifur from THE HOBBIT. He, too, has an axe embedded, inexplicably, in his skull. And yet he and the peanut live. And eat! (Is Bifur a zombie? Wait for THE HOBBIT 2, 3, 4 and, especially, 7, to find out!)
ReplyDeleteOn a more serious note, you've started an excellent list. I'm going to make a page for the blog that lists the rules we come up with to survive a zombie outbreak/apocalypse. Good start!
This is a great list and I particularly like #1. It is incredibly important to find something worth fighting for because without that motivation there is no reason not to give up. I haven't read the second half of "This Is Not a Test" yet so I'm not sure what M. Sturges is talking about yet, but in the first half the characters are definitely lacking any types of motives for seeing what the rest of the world is like or trying to better their situation.
ReplyDeleteThis is an awesome list. I like how you reiterate that everyone must always be doing something and keeping their mind occupied. I think that is a very important thing that has to happen and is often overlooked. It keeps people motivated and holding onto all the hope they have. One other thing I would add to this list is "trust strangers like zombies". New people you meet in this apocalyptic world could be more dangerous than a single zombie if they want to be.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to go ahead and print this list out because I'm kinda paranoid about this whole zombie apocalypse thing. I think if I had this list, it would remind me that, "Yes. I am probably going to die, but at least this list will give me something to think about in my remaining days". I think that keeping a record may be the most important of these steps. Had our ancestors of the past not left relics and written words, we would know far lass (obviously) about the times of old.
ReplyDeleteI love the list! I have to say that I took most of it seriously and was thinking about how each of things were a good idea, but when you mentioned the belt, I laughed. I automatically pictured myself walking around with a belt that told how many zombies I had killed. That thing would be full!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great list! It's too bad you can't reach into the book and give this to the characters in TINAT. This would have really benefited them, considering that half their time they spend arguing against each other and the other half they sit around doing nothing, or wander the halls. HELLO! You are in a zombie apocalypse! You can't afford to just sit around. Do the things on this list. I could especially take advice from rule number 4 considering the amount of times I have gone to the gym is still zero.
ReplyDeleteI agree, this is great! Everything you've listed seems pretty reasonable. In This is not a Test, we see glimpses of the kids trying to do some of these things (but definitely only glimpses and definitely only some of them). I also like the idea of keeping records for future generations. Another way to do this is through oral stories, but written papers and documents avoid the chance of the story changing or being forgotten.
ReplyDelete#8, Keep a record.
ReplyDeleteThis is a piece of human technology that I fear gets left out of most of the Zombie lore things we've read/experienced thus far this semester.
(BEGINSPOILER)
The only person I've noticed even slightly keeping a record was the wonky dude in the CDC in Walking Dead.
(END SPOILER)
But it is just as important as staying alive, just as it has always been important to keep a history. If we didn't, there are all sorts of historical consequences that can re-occur just because human kind loses its sense of past. Although, I'd be interested to talk about how the whole cataloging of human events in relation to the interwebs-age. I'm under the impression the internet is made up of some sort of series of information tubes going through the air, so information itself would survive... say... a library fire that may have destroyed knowledge in the past.
"A handgun should be, well, handy, but also last in line."
ReplyDeleteSo punny!
But honestly great post. Way to break down the hierarchy of needs.
9. STOP KILLING EVERYONE YOU SEE. Nothing has frustrated me more in Zombie literature than HUMANS KILLING OTHER HUMANS. Don't we know there aren't that many of us left?? I understand survival of the fittest and all that but come on, there's no need to shamelessly murder 10 marine corp soldiers like in Walking Dead. I don't know if this is necessarily a good rule, but I really think it needs to be considered. Someone's gonna have to repopulate the Earth someday, people.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of a rule book for surviving. Especially since whenever I imagine a zombie apocalypse it is literally chaos everywhere and everything human (including laws) has suddenly vanished. I think having a good set of rules would make a world that seemed so different a little more familiar.
ReplyDelete