Role Reversal

So we all know the standard zombie-plague situation: outbreak occurs, zombies begin infesting the earth, zombies bite humans, humans turn into zombies, and from there it's a constant game of hide and seek until everyone dies. The model is timeless - works like a charm. Now I wanna take this model and throw a wrench in it, tell me what you think.

Chapter I

You wake up, stunned and incoherent. Your sight is hazy but you try to look around and get your bearings. You're in a tent. You're on a crappy cot with one pillow and one of those really scratchy wool blankets. There's grass on the ground. You're wearing dirty, ripped up jeans, a fresh pair of socks and your favorite Chive t-shirt that now has dirt all over it and some holes. What is piss off, do you have any idea how hard it is to get one of those shirts? Anyway, you sit up on the edge of the bed, your feet gently pressing into the grass. You don't remember how you got here or what you're doing. You can hear some rumblings outside - some hustle and bustle, voices, conversation, but you can't make any of it out. You stand up and your body instantly aches. Your back and legs are tight as hell, your neck is sore as shit and your head feels like someone is beating it with a hammer. You feel the back of your head and there's what appears to be a god damn baseball bulging out of your cranium. So in other words, you feel hungover with a minor - actually fuck that - major head contusion. "So that's it," you think, "I got plastered last night andddd woke up in a tent. Wow am I fucking stupid, but this is gonna make for a great story." You reach in your pocket for your cell phone and pull it out. "No service? Fuck off." You slide it back in your pocket while you look around the tent for your shoes, which are nowhere to be found. You shake your head thinking that you may have really topped yourself this time. For a second you consider if this is worse than the time you woke up in the backyard of a house you've never been to but can't quite make up your mind yet - time will tell. You give a little stretch, take a deep breath and begin to head out of the tent to start your trek home. 

You pull the flap of the tent open and the light is blinding. "Fuckkkk sake" you yell out, your eyes uncontrollably squinting together. You try to open them but they feel like they'd need the jaws of life to open up right now. You start to see figures in your blurred vision. People, you think. More tents, you think. Cars, a couple trucks, and a burned out campfire. Just as your vision finally becomes clear you notice a group of people have turned to look at you. You think you recognize one of them as Gary, the crazy cat guy (yeah cat guy, not cat lady) who lives upstairs in your apartment building. The group begins to walk over to you as you stand upright, still trying to get your bearings, and await them. The group consists of four people: Gary, a middle-aged woman with graying hair, a guy who seems like he's kind of around your age, and a 40-something looking guy with cowboy boots and a phenomenal mustache. You speak out as the group gets closer, your voice nearly unrecognizable to yourself as it tends to be after a night of heavy drinking. "Uhhh hey Gary" you say in a scratchy tone. "What the shit is going on right now." You say this less as a question and more as a statement, clearly expressing your disapproval towards this clusterfuck of a situation. "Hi Tyler," say Gary delicately, as if not to break you. "How ya feelin' pal?" Gary's voice is soft and delicate and lispy. "Umm I feel like I got hit by a bus twice anddd I don't know where I am. What the hell is going on right now?" "Listen up," says mustache man, crumbling any chance Gary had at a response. "We got a situation here and we got a lotta shit to do, so I'm gonna fill ya in and then leave ya be, got it pretty boy?" You assume mustache man is calling you pretty boy because of your boyish good looks and blonde flowing hair, very Heath Ledger-esque (RIP) if you do say so yourself. "Umm sure?" you reply, confused but quite certain that mustache man has all his shit figured out. "Aight," he says in his slight southern draw which you can't help but think might be forced. "We are in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. Ol' Gary here found ya passed out in yer 'partment when theys was lookin' fer survivors to evacuate. He grabbed ya, hucked ya in the back of our pick up and we took off. You woke up round 4 in the morning while we was still driving and stumbled off the back of the pick up while we were stopped lookin' at a map. Bashed yer head pretty good hoss." You don't know why but you believe every single word this man is saying. "You been out bout two days now, glad you come to. We're workin' on gettin' ya some shoes and a coat, but fer right now I gotta go. We got a huntin' trip so I can't be wastin' time." "Hunting what, deer?" you ask confused as you see piles and boxes of food around the reserve. "Nah. We're huntin' zombies" says mustache man with an evil grin spreading across his face. "Catcha later hoss," he says as he turns and walks away, the woman and young boy following him. 

Gary hangs back looking to give you a little comfort. "So listen Tyler, I know this must be overwhelming," says Gary, his S's lisping more than ever as his voice quivers, "but I want you to know we'll be fine. We have a good camp and a great group of people." For some reason, you don't worry. You're pumped. You're psyched. You fucking love The Walking Dead. You've literally dreamt of going Daryl all over some zombie ass. Bring it the fuck on. You get a surge of adrenaline and you are ready to go. "I'm good Gary, seriously, I'm good. Can I go with mustache man? I wanna hunt some zombies!" you say in an ecstatic tone. "Tyler wait, hold on pal I really don't think you should. You need to rest and we need to keep you here. There's something you have to do before you're able to --" "wait wait wait," you say hurriedly, suddenly interrupting Gary. "Why... wait why are they hunting zombies? Aren't we supposed to like, hide from them? Make sure they don't know where we are? Stay the fuck away from them?" You begin to think to yourself and you're confused. "See that's the thing Tyler," says Gary in a regretful tone. "It's not that simple." Gary takes a deep breath as a father would just before explaining to his 8 year old son that Mommy and Daddy are getting divorced. "You see, Tyler... We need to run from these zombies and hunt them. If you get bitten by a zombie you will turn into one of them." "Yeah no shit" you think to yourself, "what is this fuckin' amateur hour?" "However," Gary continues, "that's not the only way you can turn into a zombie." He has your attention now. "How should I put this," Gary says under his breath looking at the ground. "Tyler, we all have the disease. We're all infected. It's in the air. You have it, I have it. Everyone here has it. When the breakout first occurred, people were turning and they hadn't even been bitten. But we discovered yesterday that there's a way to prevent this from happening." You can see that he is visibly getting more and more shaken up as he continues. "We found a way to prevent it, but you're not gonna like it." "How bad could it be?" you say. "What is it, like a shot or something?" Gary looks down, takes a deep breath hoping he'll take in some courage in the process, looks up and says "You have to eat zombie meat." Your jaw drops. Your heart stops. Shit, your fucking head even stops pounding for a brief moment as you take in what he said. "What uhhh..." you begin to say, searching for the right words. "What the fuck did you just say, Gary?" "It's the only way, Tyler. I'm sorry, and I know how upsetting this must be to hear. But it's the only way to stay human. I'm -- I'm sorry." Gary turns, his head buried in the grass, and begins to walk away. 

You stand there, stunned. All the excitement you had is gone. You feel deflated. You look around and finally realize that this is now your life. This is a shit life. It's a shit life with shit (actually, probably grosser than shit) served for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You see Gary talking with two women, and he suddenly points in your direction. The women look at you and nod. One picks up a bucket and they begin to walk towards you. They walk slowly, the woman with the bucket holding it out to her side as if to keep a safe distance from it. You watch them as they draw closer and suddenly realize what's happening. You see it, instantly look away and you try to prep yourself. Your toes curl and chills run down your spine. You see it again and you shiver, then try to take a deep breath. Your eyes finally lock in on it. The bucket they're carrying, which is closing in on you more and more by the second, has an arm sticking out of it.