Today I started my day like any other. I wake up, shower, check facebook, put in my contacts, and go to Dunkin Donuts to get my large Iced (if it is above freezing out) Coffee. I am a regular at the dunkin on rt 2....they know my order and normally greet me with a smile. Well today, there was a new cashier. I placed my order and instead of handing her my debit card, I gave her my drivers license (awkward) and she said, "Ah you are a Coffee Zombie....I need your debit card or cash grrr". Okay this is weird...I am pretty functional in the morning pre-coffee. I drive, communicate with other HUMANS, and even sometimes answer emails. Calling me a ZOMBIE is uncalled for...until I thought about it. I AM sort of a zombie. I function on autopilot....until I get my coffee (Brains). I did a little research:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=coffee-%20zombie
Note definition 3:
"The moments directly after waking up from sleep (usually, only up to an hour) where you can't speak properly and have an inability to perform simple tasks like make your morning coffee.
Extended periods of zombie mode can also occur after a bad night's sleep and can last most of the day. Symptoms include not being able to function properly throughout the day and general malaise.
Zombie mode is comparable to a hang-over but it doesn't usually occur as a result of alcohol although zombie mode, combined with a hang-over is a potentially deadly combination"
Are you a zombie?
I have yet to relate to a post so thoroughly, thank you for this.
ReplyDeleteI find that my ratio of coffee/zombie is directly proportional to the amount of work that I'm being asked to do. I can get along as a human being without coffee for a good long while. Yet, anytime anything academic is asked of me, I had better be mainlining the good stuff or I'm going to fall flat on my face. This deficiency also seeps over into the realm of interactions with other human beings, but to a slightly less severe degree. I am not completely useless in a conversation without coffee, yet it does certainly help. I do find that some days I enjoy being able to let my body run on auto-pilot without the coffee. It's a nice reprieve from the usual college grind.
I agree with William in the fact that my coffee intake and level of zombism that is occurring is relative to my work load. I am finding that the more work I have the less sleep I get and more coffee I drink in order to keep myself animated. If I wake up early to do homework I find it extremely difficult to do homework and as the semester is coming to a close and the work load increasing significantly, almost anything is difficult to get done without coffee or some sort or energy drink.
ReplyDeleteThe interesting thing about "coffee zombies" is we exist in a state of constant fluctuation. Our dilemma is completely treatable, but not curable. Also, the symptoms do not always present in the same way. Sometimes, a person needs one cup of coffee to function. On really bad days, they might need one an hour.
ReplyDeleteThe idea of zombiesm as a treatable disease is interesting, especially if the symptoms were as inconsistent as Coffee Zombies. It would be like having diabetes. You'd constantly have to monitor yourself and carry around the treatment. However, the result would be much more deadly...for everyone, if you forgot to take your 'insulin.' Would our society allow self treatment of 'zombieism?' Would we feel safe knowing that that bro we partied with last week could be a zombie undergoing consistent treatment? I leave my keys at home all the time. What if I left the vaccine at home, and in the middle of my zombie class, the disease started to fight back? The result would be a lot more devastating than when I forget my morning cup of coffee.
This was really interesting when I got to thinking about it. I used to be a total coffee zombie until I went without my coffee for a day and realized how different I felt. This was when I realized that I needed to stop. I slowly weened myself off from caffeine and now I am cured! YAYYYY! Good luck to you. I highly recommend going without coffee for a day and seeing how much it affects you.
ReplyDeleteWhile I wouldn't say I am a coffee zombie, I definitely partake in zombie mode for a good couple of hours when I first wake up in the morning. Due to this, I have always moved my classes around to ensure I never have to start class too early. In fact, my earliest class of this semester is our zombie class at 11:30 (which is still slightly early for me), and whenever I have classes that are earlier I usually have terrible attendance. Sophomore year I had a class with iClicker attendance at 9 AM and at the end of the semester I had an attendance rate of 27%. SO, although I am not a "coffee zombie," I am indeed a morning zombie because I most certainly cannot function early in the morning, including such tasks as going to class, conversing with roommates or anyone, especially driving. A couple of summers ago I use to have to leave my house at 6:30 AM to get to work by 8 AM. Long story short, I fell asleep while driving and hit the divider in the road. Maybe I would benefit from becoming a coffee zombie and avoiding instances like such.
ReplyDeleteJP, sounds like you may want to become a convert. Unfortunately, being a coffee zombie is a vicious cycle for me, a habit I'll kick and then pick up a few weeks later. I have been a coffee zombie from the age of 15 or 16, an infection I caught from my parents (both relentless coffee zombies). I had never realized just how bad it was until I was in Ecuador for two and a half weeks over winter break, without my usual morning (...and afternoon...and evening) coffee(s) I was plagued with debilitating headaches. I had to compensate by buying coca-cola, which I hate, from the small shops and my professor and classmates laughed about how I was a sluggish, moaning, and groaning caffeine addict, desperate for my next dose of sustenance.
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